Finding Courtney
by b-roksgurl5678
Summary: At first we didn't know eachother... I didn't even know who I was. But somewhere that changed... And now I'm leaving it to fate...
1. There Goes My Hero

FINDING COURTNEY  
  
I can be your hero baby...  
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE! STAY AWAY!" Courtney screamed into the inclement darkness. "I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND, I DON'T HAVE TO" A.J. screamed. She ran down a hill and into a forest. She could hear his murderous steps now, he was getting even closer. She continued to run, screaming for help the whole way. The blue-eyed man was taking a walk through the woods. He could hear her cries. "COURTNEY! COME BACK TO ME!" A.J. screamed, sounding more insane than a movie villain did. The blue-eyed man searched out the woman who needed his help. Courtney turned to see how close He was behind her. When she turned back around and before she knew what was going on, she tripped over a root and fell, hitting her head on a half buried flat rock, knocking her unconscious. Jason and A.J. stumbled onto the scene at the same time. Jason started to pick Courtney up and A.J. started to scream. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRL!" "Uh, dude, I don't think she wants to be with you." He said. A.J. tried to hit him, but in his drunken stupor he missed. The weight of his aimless fist knocked him to the ground. Jason used this opportunity to throw Courtney over his shoulder and run like hell.  
  
The sun will come out tomorrow.  
  
Courtney's eyes fluttered open. She sat up with a start. "Oh god, where am I!?!" she screamed. Jason sat up. He let her have the bed while he slept on the couch. "Hey, calm down! I found you in the woods last night running from some guy. You were unconscious so I brought you back here" he said quickly. She looked around. "Where is here?" she asked. "This is my dorm. Port Charles university." He said with a smile. She sat a minute when it finally dawned on her. "Who am I?" she muttered softly. "What? You don't remember anything?" he asked standing up and sitting next to her. "no. God I don't even know my name!" she started to sob then, and Jason, not even having to think about it, took her sob-wracked body into his arms. "Your name is Courtney." He said then. "How do you know?" she asked. "That guy was screaming at you. I think he was going to hurt you." He said, trying not to upset her anymore. A faint memory of a soft, warm woman's voice played in her mind. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Courtney, Happy Birthday to you "yeah, my name is Courtney. But what's you're name?" she said. He felt foolish. "Oh man, I'm so sorry, my name is Jason. And we need to take you to the hospital." He said standing up and extending a hand. "No, I am not going to the hospital I'm fine, I just need an Ibuprofen." she said, putting a hand over her forehead. "You hit your head hard, you've lost your memory, you need to go to a hospital." He said taking her hand. "I will not!" she said more firmly. "Courtney, you're hurt, let me take you to the hospital." He said. "NO! if you bring it up again, I'll just leave!" she said. He shut up then. "O.K. do you want to try and figure out who you are?" he asked. "Well, yeah but I don't want to go to the cops. Why don't we see if I'm enrolled here?" she said. "That's a good idea." He said. He waited for her to take a shower and get around and then he did the same. They sat down on the bed for a moment. "Why do you trust me? You don't even know who I am." He finally said. "Well, you give off a good vibe. And right now you're pretty much my only hope." She said putting her hand on his shoulder. "OK, how about we go to the office to see if you're here." He said. She followed him out the door and they walked shoulder to shoulder, getting to know one another. "Here we are Courtney." He said opening the door to the office for her. "Thanks Jase. son Jason." She said, realizing the nickname she had used. He nodded with his penetrating smile. They walked in together and she rang the little bell at the desk. "Hello, how can I help you two?" she asked. "Well we need to see the enrollment lists If that's alright." He said politely. "Well sir, there is a binder in the lobby over there and you can look all you want." She said, charmed by him. "Thank you very much Ma'am." he said with a smile and a wink he went to the lobby to get the binder and Courtney waited at the desk for him to come back. "You oughta hang on to him girl, he's a keeper!" The secretary said with her strong southern drawl. "Oh, we're not going out, we're just friends." She said with a reassuring nod. "Like it isn't written all over your face. Now I know it isn't my business, but you two for sure have chemistry, I know how to spot these things." She said tapping her glasses and smiling. Courtney kind of bit her lip smiling some. "Do you really think so?" she asked. The kind woman nodded. Just then Jason walked back in. "There are 24 Courtney's that go to this school." He said. "Well let me look at the names." She said. That sat down very close together and looked over them. "Courtney Abbot, Courtney Anderson, Courtney Bruce, Courtney Clark, Courtney Donaldson, Courtney Davis, Courtney Donovon, Courtney Fisher, Courtney Fines, Courtney Gregory, Courtney Johnson, Courtney Lynch, Courtney Lowenstein, Courtney Matthews. 


	2. Your Hand Is All I Have

Finding Courtney  
  
So hurry hold me, your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on...  
  
"Courtney Matthews. No, none of these ring a bell. God this is hopeless!" she yelled, putting her head in her hands. "Hey! I don't want to hear you talking like that! We'll figure this all out O.K.?" He said. "NO! Jason, I have nothing! NOTHING!" she yelled standing up. He stood up and put his hand where her neck and face met. "You have me. And I'm not going anywhere. We'll do this together." With that she burst into tears and collapsed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I know this is hard, it's ok" he kept saying in his soothing way. She pressed her ear to his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. "Jason, don't ever leave me, please. You're all I have right now." She said as she buried her face into his chest. "I won't, I swear." He said into the top of her head as he placed a lingering kiss there. Jason was forgetting one thing, and it was kind of important. He walked Courtney back to his dorm and she lay in his bed to take a nap. He sat in a chair next to the bed and watched her. This broken angel had stumbled into his life. She was so beautiful. He jumped at the sound of a knock on the door. He cracked it open a little bit, and quickly remembered what had slipped his mind. "Oh, Jesus, Taylor." He said sliding out the door. "Aren't you gonna invite me in?" she asked getting even closer. "Um, I'm kinda busy right now." He said. "To busy for your girlfriend?" she said, grabbing his package. He gasped. "Uh, yeah I am really busy ok? So I'll talk to you later." He said sliding back in the room and locking the door. "Ugh, men." Taylor said rolling her eyes and walking away. This really sucked. He wasn't really fond of Taylor lately; in fact he was growing to hate her. She was so possessive and picky, and self-absorbed. How was he supposed to get rid of her? The awakening of his angel interrupted all of his thoughts. He smiled when he saw her open her eyes. "Hey Courtney. Did you sleep well?" he asked. "Yes I did, thank you very much for letting me stay here." She said. "You must be starved, let's go get something to eat." He said she jumped at that. Her stomach had been rumbling for a while. They got into his black Nissan and turned on the radio. Instantly they started to sing to the song.  
  
Jason: So I took your hand and we figured out That when the tide comes I'd take you away  
  
Courtney: If you want to I can save you I can take you away from here  
  
Jason: So lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares  
  
Courtney: I'm sinking slowly So hurry hold me Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
  
They paused a moment staring at each other. Then Jason picked up where they left off.  
  
Jason: All you wanted was somebody who cares If you need me you know I'll be there Oh, yeah If you want to I can save you I can take you away from here  
  
She smiled at him gently, and he gently enveloped her hand with his own. His eyes returned to the road. "So, where do you want to eat?" he asked. "I don't care, where ever." She said. He knew she would say that. "Fine, I'll pick." He said squeezing her hand. He pulled into Applebee's. "Hey! I remember something! This is my favorite restaurant! That sounds dumb, but it's something!" She said getting so excited. "It's not dumb, you're right it is something." He said giving her a hug. They went inside and ordered their food. "Why are you so nice? You had no idea who I was and decided to let me live with you." She asked. "Because I knew you needed my help, I couldn't just leave you on the street." He said. "Yes, you could have, a lot of people would have! But you didn't, why did you take me in?" Courtney asked. "Because it's what's right, And I have a good feeling about you." He said gently, trying not to reveal too much. She accepted this and they carried on their conversation. Though they had only known each other for a day or so, they felt like they'd always known each other. They had finished eating and Jason started to pay. "No, I'll pay!" Courtney said. He stared at her for a moment. "With what?" he asked. She realized that she had no money. "Damn, I forgot. I am so sorry! I swear I'll pay you back!" she said. "Don't worry about, even if you had money I would have paid!" he said like the gentlemen he is. She just grinned at him. She wouldn't be this close with him, except right now he was all that she had. They walked to the car in silence, it wasn't awkward silence like usual though, it was peaceful easy silence. They drove home, stealing glances at one another from time to time. Courtney leaned her head on the cold glass of the window, so confused on her feelings. She didn't know who she was, so how could she know how she felt? As if to answer her, his hand grasped her leg, just above the knee. Oh. That's how. She reached down and grabbed his hand. It was all she could not to take his hand other places. But, by using all of the strength in her at that moment, she just grasped his hand, leaving it on her leg. He killed the engine, reluctantly removing his hand from her hand and leg. He stepped out and hurried around to the other side of the car and opened her door for her. She smiled and stepped out of the door, quick to grab his hand again. He couldn't help but love the feeling of her smooth palm in his hand. She seemed so delicate, and yet so tough all at the same time. They walked into his dorm and he threw his keys on his end table with a clang. He sat down on his bed and ran his finger through his hair. "I'm bushed, are you ready for bed?" he asked looking at her. "Yeah I am" she said as she yawned. He pulled the covers back and told her to lay down. She took her shoes off and did so. He took off his shirt and started to lay on the couch. "Where do you think you're going?" she said sitting up. "I'm going to sleep." He said surprised. "Not over there you're not, get in bed NOW!" she said firmly. He obeyed and crawled in bed, facing away from her at first. "Jason?" she asked, sounding like a two-year old. "yeah?" he said huskily. "Could you hold me?" she asked nervously. "Of Course!" he said rolling over, spooned with her. He wrapped his huge, muscular arms around her. She fell asleep with a smile. He, on the other hand, had a much more stern look. He had pulled the stone mask on, trying his hardest to not feel for her. He was failing. 


	3. Not a Stranger, My Gravity

Finding Courtney Chapter 3: Taylor Meets Courtney There is this hunger this restlessness inside of me and it knows that you're no stranger you're my gravity. Courtney and Jason were both sleeping peacefully. That is until the screaming started. "You little slut, get out of my bed and away from my boyfriend!" Taylor screamed, jolting them awake. Courtney's eyes grew to the size of baseballs. There was a girl that stood about 5' 9". She had dark blonde hair that was in small tight spirals, and she had very blue eyes. She was wearing a revealing halter-top and a skirt so short that you could call it a belt. "I can't believe you'd cheat on me Jason!" she yelled in tears. "It's not what it looks like Taylor!" he said, jumping out of bed. "Then what is it?" she demanded. "She is suffering from minor memory loss, she can't remember where she lives or who she is for that matter and so she is staying with me until we can figure it out" he explained. " And I'm supposed to believe that crock? Right" she said sarcastically. " I swear it's the truth she hit her head and I found her, trust me" he pleaded with her. You could look into Jason's eyes and tell that he was telling the truth. She stopped crying and her face softened a bit. But she looked back to Courtney, who was staring at Jason, and she could tell that Courtney had feelings for him. She just had to nip this in the bud. "Oh, well I guess that's okay. I hope you can figure this all out." She said to Courtney, trying to appear nice. Courtney nodded. Then Taylor turned her focus to Jason. "And for you." she said in a seductive voice. She walked towards him, then around him so he would have to face away from Courtney. She straddled his lap and took half his face in a kiss. Jason had no time to object. The whole time that she kissed him, she kept her eyes open and watched Courtney. When she pulled back, She whispered in his ear loud enough for Courtney to hear, "Stay out of trouble." and with that she left, her hips swaying seductively back and forth with each step. She slammed the door behind her. Courtney was both hurt and dumbfounded. Jason looked at her trying to show her with his eyes that he did not want her to do what she had just done. The lipstick smeared face said otherwise. Finally Courtney found the words. "You have a girlfriend!?!" she demanded. "Yeah, I probably should have told you," he said looking to the ground, unable to look her in the eye. "Ya think?" she said sarcastically. She stopped a moment then. He really hadn't done anything to suggest that he didn't have a girlfriend. "Never mind, its not you fault. Well, I don't want to stir up trouble with you and your girlfriend so, I can figure things out on my own" she said, walking towards the door. He ran after her and grabbed her arm. "No, I WANT to help you. Don't worry about Taylor." He said sweetly. She looked to the ground. ".Okay. I guess," she said. "I need some clothes," she said. "Oh, well you can wear one of my sweat shirts, and I think Taylor has some Pants and stuff here. "I don't think that she'd like me wearing her stuff" Courtney said. "Oh, it's no biggie, she probably won't see you anyway." He said. She nodded and took them into the bathroom. She quickly showered and then dressed. She blow-dried her hair quickly and kept trying to pull the pants up. They were WAY low cut. She was glad that his sweatshirt was big on her. She got out and Jason's eyes widened. The jeans were quite form fitting. "You look. Really good" he said, grinning. She grinned back, looking embarrassed. He took a fast shower and put on his out fit. (A black T-shirt with a red star, a very baggy pair of army pants with patches for various bands such as Nirvana, The Ramones, and Green Day, a studded belt, and to spike cuffs.) He also combed his hair into a faux- hawk. When he stepped out of the bathroom, she would have given anything to make him single. "You're looking pretty hot today Jason" she said, more blunt than she had intended. Now he was blushing. "Thank you." He said. "Are you hungry?" he asked, desperately wanting to change the subject. "I could go for a bite." She said. They walked down the stairs together, much tension between them. She wanted him, but didn't want to admit it for a number of reasons. He wanted her but he had a girlfriend and he couldn't cheat on her. They got into his car and he started it. The song that played left them both frozen. Inside my skin  
  
there is this space...  
  
It twists and turns  
  
It bleeds and aches  
  
Inside my heart  
  
There's an empty room.  
  
It's waiting for lightning;  
  
It's waiting for you  
  
I am wanting, and...  
  
I am needing you  
  
To be here  
  
Inside the absence of fear  
  
Muscle and sinew  
  
Velvet and stone...  
  
This vessel is haunted  
  
It creaks and moans  
  
My bones call to you  
  
In a separate skin.  
  
I make myself translucent  
  
To let you in, boy...  
  
I am wanting, and...  
  
I am needing you  
  
To be here  
  
Inside the absence of fear  
  
There is this hunger  
  
This restlessness inside of me  
  
And it knows that you're no stranger,  
  
You're my gravity  
  
My hands will adore you  
  
Through all darkness aim, they will  
  
Lay you out in moonlight  
  
And reinvent your name  
  
For I am wanting, and...  
  
I am needing you  
  
To be here...  
  
I need you near...  
  
Inside the absence of fear  
  
All they could do was steal glances at each other, not knowing what to say, think, feel or do. They needed each other, but didn't want to. 


	4. If Only for Today, Take My Breath Away

Finding Courtney Chapter 4: If Only for Today, Take My Breath Away You turn around and say if only for today, take my breath away. turning and returning to some secret place inside watching in slow motion as I turn my head and say if only for today take my breath away.  
  
The song ended and they kind of shook the mood off, but they couldn't pretend that it never happened because it did. They needed each other and were starting to realize. But they both buried it to the bottom of their hearts, and he stopped at the first place that offered breakfast food.  
  
"Does this place sound ok?" he asked. When she looked into his blue eyes, and him into hers, they could feel their hearts melt.  
  
"uh, yeah, whatever you want is fine." She said politely.  
  
He nodded and they got out of the car. As they walked side by side, their hands kept brushing each other. Each time that they did it made her jump and a tingle go down her spine. He was aware of this, and kind of hooked onto her pinky with his. It calmed her down some, but at the same time, stirred her up, making her feel antsy. They went inside and ate in complete silence, not sure really what to say. From time to time, Jason would make a remark that would make her laugh and she'd respond, but nothing that you could actually classify as conversation. They left at about 11:00 AM and decided to just go back to his dorm and hang. They listened to more music, and talked more now, have a comfortable conversation. Then they ended up on the subject of dancing.  
  
"I can't dance at all." He said laughing.  
  
"Oh, come one, everyone can dance, just to their own beat. You can probably slow dance, anyone can slow dance." She said, letting her fingertips graze his arm.  
  
He looked at the spot she touched. He could still feel it even though it had been a couple seconds since she had touched him. He kind of snapped out of it then.  
  
"Well, I can slow dance, I'm not that bad. I don't think anyone is so bad that they can't slow dance but that's is literally the only way that I can dance." He said laughing again and bringing one knee to his chest while the other was outstretched.  
  
"That's pretty funny." She said, putting her hand on his thigh.  
  
Things just kinda stopped then. It was as if the world had completely paused in its motion. It was kind of awkward but just felt right. He took her hand and for a moment held it. Then, without words, without need for them, they turned and got up headed for the door. Neither of them knew where they were going or what they were doing, they just kind of got in the car and drove in a certain direction. She reached out and held his hand again, not caring about Taylor, just caring about Jason. Soon they hit heavy traffic, and looking over the mass of cars in front of him, he spotted that it was because the road was closed for a carnival. He pulled away and parked the car in a nearby parking lot. They got out and wandered through the colorful place.  
  
"Ooh, let's ride the carousel." She said pointing.  
  
They climbed on and for reasons unknown, got on the same horse, her in the front, between his legs. The ride started and they sat not moving for a moment. At this precise moment, they could feel that they truly needed each other. She turned her head slowly and whispered while wrapping one hand around the back his neck, "If only for today, take my breath away" and with that he closed the gap between their mouths. They stayed in that motionless kiss for a couple of seconds, and then finally separated and went in for more. Their tongues slowly stroked each other, with such want and desperation. He made this deep, involuntary throaty noise at the same time that she made a girly little noise that seemed as if he had indeed taken her breath away, their lips massaged one another's, and it was all they could do to even breath. Days of pent up feelings, emotion, frustration, and desire were sparking and soaking through this kiss. It made her feel weak, it made her feel strong, and it made her want him more than anything else in the world. He knew that this was it. This is exactly what he wanted and needed. What he had wanted and needed from the beginning. He couldn't pretend anymore. The ride jerked to an end and they parted for air. She rested the side of her forehead on the front of his. Not knowing what to say. Just then they heard it.  
  
"Oh my god Kate look! That is Taylor's boyfriend making out with some bimbo!" A sickly thin snooty girl with Barbie blonde yelled.  
  
"Oh my god! You are like so like, right Ashley! We have to like, go find Taylor!" Another one said, looking exactly like the first, but with Brown hair.  
  
"oh, crap!" Courtney said.  
  
"You know what, I don't even care!" Jason said with anger.  
  
They got off the ride and started to walk down the sidewalk, not saying a word, especially about what had just happened on the ride. That's when she looked up and saw it. 


	5. I Need You Tonight

Finding Courtney  
  
Chapter 5: I Need You Tonight  
  
If you leave, don't leave now please don't take my heart away, promise me just one more night then we'll go our separate ways.  
  
"Oh my God, that's me!" Courtney said, pointing to the poster.  
  
"Oh my God. that's you!" Jason repeated.  
  
They stood motionless for awhile. A part of Jason wished right now that they hadn't found the poster, then she would be able to stay longer. But there it was. An 8x10 photo of Courtney on a huge poster that said  
  
"Missing: Courtney Matthews Hair color: blonde Eye color: blue Last Seen: June 30th, 1996 Age: 18 If you have seen Courtney, please call (638) 248-4193"  
  
"Well, we have to copy down the number." Courtney said. She looked to Jason to see if he had a pen.  
  
He dug into his pocket and fished around for a moment and retrieved the pen. She copied the number on to her hand and gave him the pen. When he took it, he grabbed her hand for a moment. Perfect timing.  
  
"Oh my god! It is true! You whore!" Taylor said storming up to them with her friends following close behind.  
  
"She is not a whore and I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" he yelled to her  
  
"Well I don't care, we need to talk about this Jason!" she said, tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"I have to help Courtney we found something," he said gesturing to Courtney.  
  
"Yeah, it sounds like you found each other's mouths! You can't just push me away!" Taylor yelled.  
  
Jason had to find a way out of there and quick. Then he thought for a moment and realized that it wouldn't be to hard to outsmart Taylor.  
  
"Hey what's that?" Jason said pointing to the sky.  
  
All three of the girls turned to look, and obviously saw nothing. When they turned back around, Jason and Courtney were gone. After throwing a tizzy, an angry Taylor gave up and left. She'd get this all straightened out in the morning. ***********************************************************MEANWHILE******** ******* They took off running hand in hand and jumped into the car, tires squeeling as they sped off. Courtney Laughed with excitement, she loved a little adventure. Then her mind returned to the number on her hand. She needed Jason but she'd just have to stop that. She'd go home, find out everything about her and return to life as she had left it. Then he grabbed her hand. *I don't have to leave yet. So tonight will be my goodbye I'll let myself be with him tonight, and start the rest tomorrow* she thought to herself. He pulled into the parking lot of the school and slammed on his brakes. They ran inside and practically collapsed on the bed.  
  
"That was crazy!" Courtney said.  
  
"Yeah. are you gonna call the number?" he asked.  
  
"I have to, I mean if I ever want to remember my life" she said.  
  
He looked at the ground. He had hoped that she would wait. He just wanted her so much. He needed her. He didn't care why or how, he just needed her. But withhout question, he handed her the phone. Courtney weakly smiled and took it. Turning away from him and sitting on the corner of his bed. She slowly dialed each number, wiping away a stray tear that had fallin.  
  
"Hello. Mom?. Yeah it's Courtney. Well, I hit my head and got minor amnesia. yeah I'm fine. I found one of the missing posters and called the number. A guy, his name's Jason. yeah he's the best" She said, looking up at him with the last part.  
  
"Well, I'm in the Lion's den dormatory at PCU. Tomorrow? Okay I'll see you then bye" she hung up the phone. That word was like a slap in the face. Tomorrow.  
  
"So, what's going on" he asked  
  
"I'm leaving. tomorrow" she said looking at the ground. She was unable to look into his eyes.  
  
"No, you can't, I need you Courtney I know it started out that I was helping you out but you're helping me to you can't leave, not yet please just stay with me" he begged faling to his knees in font of her  
  
"I'm sorry Jason but I have to leave." She said  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek and he brushed it away quickly. He knew that she was right. She had to leave. But maybe tomorrow he could convince her to stay. Maybe she wouldn't be able to walk away from him.  
  
"If you're going to leave, don't leave now. Just stay, for one more night" he said weakly  
  
"That's all I can do" she said.  
  
She held his head in her hands, he closed his eyes. With all of the emotions filling each of them, he was afraid that if he looked her in the eyes, it would kill him.She leaned down, and pressed her lips to his. He Raised his body slightly, and Courtney willfully let him lay her down. She wrapped her arms gently around the back of his neck as he slid on top of her, slowly kissing her. She couldn't take the way he made her feel, the things that he made her feel. But at the same time she loved it. Even though she knew that she would just leave him, She needed this, she needed him tonight. She knew that no matter what happened, she could never ever forget the heat and passion that they shared that night 


	6. With Love, Courtney PS

Finding Courtney 

Chapter 6: With Love, Courtney… P.S.

__

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room There's so much tenderness in your loving God give me strength when I am leaving So raise your hands to heaven and pray That we'll be back together someday Tonight, I need your sweet caress Hold me in the darkness Tonight, you calm my restlessness You relieve my sadness…

Courtney sat in the chair next to his bed. He lay there barely covered by the sheet, and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to leave at this point. "Come on Courtney, You have to do this." She whispered. She paced a moment, and walked over to wake him. She stopped though, she knew that she couldn't handle saying goodbye to him so she let him sleep. Instead she wrote a note and left it on top of the folded clothes that she had worn. But something held her back. She turned and looked around the room, and finally grabbed the star T-shirt that he had worn the day before so carelessly thrown to the floor. She held it to her face and could smell his cologne. She decided to take it with her and in return, she left the jacket she had worn on his dresser. One tear grazed her cheek, which she quickly wiped away and walked, out of the room, carefully closing the door. She walked outside, waiting 5 minutes, when her mom pulled up. After the tear-filled reunion and some explaining, they got in the car and left. About three minutes later Jason woke up and reached across the bed hoping to touch her silky blonde hair, but all he could feel was bed sheets. He opened his tired eyes and looked around, Courtney was no where to be found. He stood up and pulled some boxers and jeans on. "Courtney?" he called. He opened the bathroom door and didn't see her there either. He turned then and saw the note.

__

Dear Jason,

I'm sorry that I left without a goodbye, but I wasn't sure if I could handle one. 

You meant so much to me this week, well actually you were everything to me this week.

I really think that under other circumstances we could have lasted as a couple you know?

But it's not under other circumstances.

Maybe even someday down the road if we were to see each other, we could start again, but not like this.

It just can't be like this.

I'm leaving, please don't search for me.

If it's supposed to happen it will happen by fate.

With Love,

Courtney

P.S. I'll tell you what, if we ever meet again, let's go dancing in the rain.


	7. Courtney's Gone

Finding Courtney 

Chapter 7: Courtney's Gone

__

Oceans apart day after day and I slowly go insane, I hear your voice on the line but it doesn't stop the pain if I see you next to never how can we say forever wherever you go whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you whatever it takes or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you I took for granted, all the times that I thought would last somehow I hear the laughter, I taste the tears but I can't get near you now oh, can't you see it baby you've got me goin' crazy but in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance…

Jason felt this strange pain and desperation rising from the pit of his stomach and wrapping around his lungs. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and when he did it hurt so terribly. He threw the note across the room and kicked the leg of his end table, cracking. He had to get out of there. He pulled on the sweatshirt of his that Courtney had worn the day before. He ran. He wasn't sure where he was going but he couldn't be there. Somehow he felt like he was going to find her, like he would just see her standing there on the sidewalk waiting for him with a smile. He picked up speed, tears streaming on his face and flying behind him. And then some how, He ended up at the carnival. It was still there. He stopped right in the middle of the blocked of road, fists clenched and legs slightly spread. He looked around for a minute, completely breathless, and took off again. He knew what he had to do. He ran past all of the rides and stopped in front of the sign. Seeing her struck more pain than ever. He wiped his eyes again and took the poster down and touched the image of her face. Then he folded it and put it in his pocket. He ran all the way back to the dorm, ignoring the dull ache in his thighs and side. When he reached the door and flung it open he was surprised at who he saw sitting on his bed. 

"What's wrong with you?" Taylor demanded. He took a jerky breath and mustered up a simple two-word reply.

"Courtney's gone." Is all he said.

"So, finally the tramp flew the coop. She was a real slut you know? It's better for us that's she's gone don't you think." She said in a snotty, bubbly tone He could feel his face turning even more red, he got suddenly hot with his rage. He started shaking even more than he had been and then the words exploded.

"You bitch! She was not a slut, and she was not a tramp! You on the other hand are a slut! I am so sick of your shit! I hate you! Why do you always say stuff like that Taylor? You weren't like that when we met. But you know what you can never compare to her! She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I lost her! I f***ing lost her! And guess what!?!?! Last night I slept with her! And if she were here now then I'd do it again! Oh and by the way, it isn't better for us because there is no us! We're through!" He screamed. 

As he was saying all of this, her mouth dropped. He took a step forward.

"Now get the F*** out of my dorm now! Get the hell out!!" he screamed. She went to the closet and grabbed her clothes and left with out saying a word. 

When she left he slammed the door and hit his radio. The song _Imagine_ by John Lennon had just ended, and the song that came on made him collapse on his bed with more tears. 

Oceans apart day after day  
And I slowly go insane  
I hear your voice on the line  
But it doesn't stop the pain  
  
If I see you next to never  
How can we say forever  
  
Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you  
  
I took for granted, all the times  
That I thought would last somehow  
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears  
But I can't get near you now  
  
Oh, can't you see it baby  
You've got me goin' crazy  
  
Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you  
  
I wonder how we can survive  
This romance  
But in the end if I'm with you  
I'll take the chance  
  
Oh, can't you see it baby  
You've got me goin' crazy  
  
Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you 

That's when he took out the poster and decided to call her.


	8. It Must Have Been Love

Finding Courtney

Chapter 8: It Must Have Been Love

__

Make believing, we're together that I'm sheltered by your heart but in and outside I've turned to water like a teardrop in your palm and it's a hard winter's day, I dream away it must have been love, but it's over now it was all I wanted, now I'm living without it must have been love but it's over now…  


"Hey Courtney, before we leave, can I meet this Jason guy? I'd really like to thank him." Courtney's mom said as they stood outside of the car.

"NO!" she yelled quickly, not meaning to be so loud.

"I mean, I said goodbye and he's asleep and has class soon so we should just let him rest don't you think?" she said with a convincing smile.

"Well, okay then." Her mom said with a suspicious look on her face. 

"Let's go then," she said, anxious to get out of there before he woke up.

They got in the car and listened to the radio. Some stupid bubble-gummy pop song was on, Courtney changed it quickly. On the next channel was George Michael's song Careless Whisper. She liked it and left it there. But with the next song, she thought that her heart would explode as she got farther and farther from Jason.

__

It must have been love, but it's over now  
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow  
It must have been love, but it's over now  
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

She closed her eyes and let some tears fall. She then leaned her head against the cold glass of the window and gripped the t-shirt on her lap. ***I should have known that it wasn't just a temporary thing. It must have been love.* **

__

Make believing, we're together  
That I'm sheltered by your heart  
But in and outside I've turned to water  
Like a teardrop in your palm  
And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away

She wrapped her arms around herself and pretended that they were his arms. She then started first to think of the times that they had really shared and then started to pretend that they were still together and all the things they would have done. First it was them sharing ice cream at an amusement park, then it was taking a long ride at late sunset in Spain on his Motorcycle. Then it was them getting married and their first dance. Then it was them dancing in the rain. She felt limp and weak like water.

__

It must have been love, but it's over now  
It was all I wanted, now I'm living without  
It must have been love but it's over now  
  
I'ts where the water flows, its where the wind blows  
  
It must have been love but it's over now  
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow  
It must have been love, but its over now  
From the moment we touched till the time had run out  
  
Yeah it must have been love .. 

Yes, there was no way of getting around it. It had been love. But now it's over and she can never go back and she will never get that dance in the rain.


	9. Don't Call Me Anymore

Finding Courtney

Chapter 9: Please Don't Call Me Anymore

__

I don't want to run away but I can't take it I don't understand if I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am is there anyway that I can stay in you life…

Jason, with a shaky hand, dialed her number and put the receiver to his ear. He was holding his breath and with the second ring, he suddenly lost his nerve and hung up. He closed his eyes tightly, a clenched fist raised just above his leg. Finally he brought it down with as much force possible. He wouldn't feel the pain until much later. He got up with fury and started pacing. He had too talk to her. He had to hear her voice again. He went into the bathroom and threw some water on his Face and rubbed his eye. He could see veiny looking bruises above his eyes starting to form from crying so hard. He dried off his face and walked to his bed and sat down. He picked up the phone and slowly dialed the number. This time, he waited until someone picked up. 

"Hello?" Courtney's mom's voice came over the phone.

"Is Courtney there?" he asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah just a minute." She said.

She put the receiver on her shoulder and called for Courtney, who had long been in her room trying to remember stuff from her childhood and such, but all she could think about was Jason. 

"Courtney honey, the phone's for you, it's a boy" her mother said. She just knew it was him. She ran out of the bedroom and grabbed the phone from her hand and ran back to her room. 

"Hello?" She said. Jason's knees went weak and he had to take a huge breath before he could speak.

"Courtney." He said weakly, getting choked up again. Jason was not much of a sensitive guy, but Courtney did something to him, she had reached a place that no one could. 

"Jason" she said kind of mocking him, trying to hold up.

"Why'd you leave. Why didn't you say goodbye?" he said. It hurt to talk because of the lump in his throat. 

"Didn't you read my note?" she asked

"Yeah, but I still don't get how you could leave if you felt like that. And after last night…" he trailed off.

"Last night was amazing, but I had to leave you have to understand that I really need to and if you don't understand it, than please just accept it." She said on the verge of tears, hoping that he couldn't tell it in her voice. 

"If you needed to leave then why are you crying now?" he said. She wiped a tear from her eye.

"Sometimes the things you need to do are hard." She said.

"I don't see why, if you knew that you were just going to leave in the morning, that you would sleep with me." He said, getting somewhat angry.

"Well, I got carried away I guess, I guess I just needed you last night." She said 

"Well I still do!" he yelled. This conversation was getting to real and to intense.

"Jason, I have to go thank you for everything really." She said.

"No, Courtney don't go I need you!" he said. Hoping she would stay.

"Goodbye, Jason. Please don't call me anymore" She said.

"NO, I!" he got out before she hung up.

"Love you" he finished as he tossed the phone on the bed beside him.

He flopped down and closed his eyes and had drifted off to sleep before he'd even realized. He dreamt of her. What they would have done together. What they did do together. And then, he felt someone gently shaking his arm, trying to wake him. 

"Courtney?" he mumbled sleepily before he got his eyes open.


	10. Pretend I'm Her

Finding Courtney

Chapter 10: Pretend I'm Her

__

We lost it all, nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect, but now it's just to late and we can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect nothings gonna change all the things that you said, and nothings gonna make this right again…

He opened his eyes the rest of the way and wiped the sleep out. He was instantly mad at who he saw. He sat up, his face red again and just before he opened his mouth to talk but she cut him off.

"Jason, before you say anything I know that I was a bitch before. I did a lot of thinking when I went home and I'm sorry." Taylor said. 

She sounded reasonable and thrown off the fake preppy voice and was talking in a normal tone.

"If you're expecting me to forgive you and take you back than you have another thing coming." He said plainly.

"No, I really don't expect that of you. I was just hoping we could talk this out and you at least not hate each other, and I have a few questions." She said. He was impressed by how she was acting and pleasantly surprised. 

"I'm listening." He sat up and patted the bed next to him as an invitation to sit down with him.

"Well, I guess my first question is, when did I change? I didn't even notice it until today." She said. It was at this point when Jason noticed that she was actually clothed and looked pretty nice. She looked like the old Taylor

"I remember the exact day that I started to notice a change in you. We went to that Green Day concert and I wanted to bring my friend Betsy with me. You got really mad. That was the first time I noticed you being possessive. Then every time that you did something mean, you'd lay on the charm and start kissing me or getting me into bed and you started wearing revealing clothes and stuff." He couldn't believe that they were able to have a sensible conversation. She looked to the ground and nodded. 

"What's your next question?" he asked her. Tears welled up in her big blue eyes.

"We were so in love that first year. Where did we go wrong?' she said tears falling.

"I don't know. I really don't know," he said gently taking her hand.

"I mean, how could I have changed so much? I am so sorry for the things that I put you through." She cried out. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay. You know what, even though this past year hasn't been so great, I would through that 20 times just to get to have our first two years once." He said. You could tell that he truly meant it.

"Really?" she sniffled, looking up at him and wiping her eyes.

"Yes. And I wasn't exactly prince charming." He said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes you were." She said, tears staining her voice. The moment grew intense, their faces were about 5 inches away, and they both moved a little, making it about 4 inches.

"Kiss me, one last time." She whispered.

"I can't, you know I don't feel that way about you anymore." He said, trying to be honest without hurting her.

"I know you don't. You love Courtney. And I have a feeling that you didn't get one last kiss from her." She said. He looked down and shook his head no.

"I bet you wanted one to. I'm sorry that she left. But I need this Jason. Pretend I'm her. Just close your eyes and put all the love that you feel for her and get the kiss that you didn't get this morning. Do to me what you would to her." She said starting to cry. 

He looked at her again and he saw her pretty blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. She was gorgeous. But, he didn't feel anything. He closed his eyes and pictured Courtney and when he opened them again, he no longer saw Taylor sitting in his arms. He saw Courtney. He pulled her into him as tightly as possible and put his mouth on hers. The kiss grew in its intensity. He tongue slipped past her lips slowly at first, then darted in, running along her gum line, and then entwining with her tongue. Then, he reached for the button of her shirt.

"Jason… maybe… we should… stop" she said threw the kiss. He unbuttoned to buttons.

"Why" he said

"I… don't… want... to take…. Advan… tage… of you" she said.

He said nothing and so she pulled away and stood up. Jason just stared at her, and she stared at him.

"Jason, you're vulnerable, I can't take advantage of you." She said

"You aren't I promise. I really need this okay. Not just to say goodbye to Courtney but to say goodbye to you. If you don't want to then that's fine." He said.

She didn't say anything else. She sat back down and started to kiss him again. And as Jason made love to her, all he could think of was Courtney. Taylor knew, but she couldn't turn and walk away and she didn't know why. 


	11. Changes

Finding Courtney

Chapter 11: Changes

__

Touching you I feel it all again didn't we almost have it all the ride with you was worth the fall my friend the night we held on til' the morning…

Taylor got her one moment in time where she felt like she really meant something to Jason. She woke up and saw Jason lying there with a strange look on his face. She couldn't quite decipher it. 

"Jason?" she said gently. 

He didn't respond and she understood. She got up and put her clothes on. As she looked at him and his bare chest, all she could think in her head was *Didn't we almost have it all? * He got up then and put some boxers and jeans on. He wasn't sure what to say to Taylor. 

"Jason, I feel like I took advantage of you last night. Did I?" she said

"No. I needed it just as much as you did. Taylor, gosh I don't even know what to say so if this comes out wrong I'm sorry. I think that I took advantage of you more than you took advantage of me. You wanted one last night of Taylor and Jason, but it was actually one more night of Jason and Courtney. I thought of her all night last night. I'm sorry." He said. She shook her head knowingly.

"I know. I could feel it in the way you kissed me. But all I needed was you Jason. I really love you; I'll never love someone the way I love you. I think it would be better if I left and didn't come back now." She said tears stinging her throat.

"I guess so. I'll miss you," he said honestly. 

She walked across the room and wrapped her arms around him, gently rubbing his bare back. He wrapped his arms around her in return. They just held each other and he tightened his grip. Finally she pulled away resting her wrists on his shoulders, just looking into his face. They let go then and she simply walked out. He stood there motionless for awhile. He grabbed a soft faded gray t-shirt and pulled it over his shoulders. Throughout the next couple of days, Courtney had remembered almost everything but all she could think about was Jason. She tried not to handle the t-shirt she took of his much, for fear that it would lose its scent. Jason repeatedly tried to call her but she wouldn't accept the calls. She dropped out of school fearing that she run into him. Everything was going down hill. Jason started to ignore all of his other friends. One day he tried to call Courtney again and was startled at what he heard. 

"We're sorry but the number you dialed is not in service," the mechanic voice said. 

He threw the phone across the room. He needed her so much. She was his one true love and he needed her back. With all that he did for her and all the passion they shared he felt that he at least deserved the decency and respect for her to talk to him. That's when he went to the bottle. He would drink huge bottles of vodka or tequila in one night. He just had to stop thinking about her. His grades started to slip. He wanted to rebel against everything now. He soon got kicked out of school for beating up about 5 guys on campus while drunk. He just happened to run into a man by the name of Sonny Corinthos at this point. They went into business together. Courtney moved to Brooklyn. She wanted to escape the memories. Of course they followed her, but she just didn't want to be reminded of them every time that she turned around. Jason sobered up so that he could advance in his partnership with Sonny. He starting wearing leather jackets everywhere he went. He wanted to cover up his good heart, which was growing more and more bitter with the fact that he knew he'd never see Courtney again.


	12. Jason and Sonny & Courtney

Finding Courtney

Chapter 12: Jason and Sonny

__

I took for granted all the times that I thought would last some how I hear the laughter I taste the tears but I can't get near you now…

It had been five years since Courtney left. Jason still loved her like not one second had passed since the last time he'd seen her. Every single night, he walked down onto the docks and would stare the icy cold waters, and he'd remember everything about her. He'd even let his eyes fill with tears from time to time. He wanted so badly to get over her but he just didn't know how. Maybe there was no getting over Courtney. Sure he dated a couple other people, his closest relationship (other than Courtney of course) was a woman named Carly. But every time he kissed them, he instantly thought of Courtney. When they'd touch him, he'd imagine that they were Courtney. He just wrapped himself in his job, and would hide all emotion… except for those few vulnerable moments on the docks. Sometimes while standing there, he'd sing gently to himself

__

Oceans apart day after day, and I slowly go insane I hear your voice on the line, but it doesn't stop the pain If I see you next to never then how can we say forever Wherever you go whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you…
    
    Sonny was secretly after Carly, Jason's ex-girlfriend. He wasn't sure how Jason would react though, so he couldn't bring himself to actually dating her. It was so hard to see her all the time and not be able to have her. Jason had also been especially distant lately. Well, he'd always been distant from everything but lately it was worse. He wouldn't tell Sonny why. Sonny had no idea about Courtney or any of it. This was creating a void in their business. It's like the secrets were prying Sonny and Jason apart. Sonny wasn't sure if they could hold up against the pressure.
    Finding Courtney
    Chapter 13: Courtney
    _I heard a cry within my soul I've never had a yearning quite like this before, I wonder if I'll ever see you again…
    _
    Courtney too wrapped herself up in her work. She was a journalist for the New York Times, under the penname "Me2" a play on her favorite band's name U2. She knew that really it was just so that Jason wouldn't find her. She didn't realize that it would still hurt all this time. After five years she still loved him from the depths of her soul. And much like him she gave herself a moment of truth every single night. She walked down to the Brooklyn Bridge and stared at the icy waters and thought him. Sometimes she'd let a tear fall. And every so often, she would sing so softly
    _All of my life where have you been I wonder if I'll ever see you again and if that day comes I know we could win I wonder if I'll ever see you again…
    _Courtney lived in a very nice apartment, no close friends, and no boyfriend. Every time a man got near her she remembered A.J. and Jason. She just couldn't help it. A.J.s memory made her sick and scared. Jason's memory sent chills up her spine making her feel cold and it struck up a hunger for him within her. She hadn't been close to anyone since him. She hadn't talked to her family for over three years. She couldn't handle talking to anyone hardly. She felt that being lonely with a crowd of people felt so much worse than feeling lonely because you are honestly all alone. That is exactly what she was on the inside and on the out side. All alone and by herself. And she decided that unless Jason found her, than she would remain the way forever.
    


	13. I Have a Sister

Finding Courtney

Chapter 13: I Have a Sister

__

No matter how far away, I will always love you…

Jason, almost mechanically, walked into Sonny's penthouse. He stood, waiting for him to come down stairs. He did, and had a strange look on his face. "Hey man, what's up with you?" he asked, not changing the emotionless look the seemed to have a permanent home on his face. Sonny smiled then, kind of out of excitement, and some out of nerves from what Jason could see. "Mike called me today and gave me some news." He said. Jason nodded wishing that he would just get on with it. "He told me that he fathered another child with someone else." Sonny said. Jason was surprised. "Wow, that's pretty big! What's her name?" he asked. "Courtney." Sonny replied. Jason's head jerked up. He knew it wasn't her but just hearing her name out loud stirred up feelings in him. His eyes glazed over and he nodded as usual. "That's a beautiful name. Do you know where she is or anything?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm going to go see her and probably bring her back with me. She's in Brooklyn. I'm leaving tomorrow at 6:00 AM. I'll be gone for a day. Can you handle things by yourself?" Sonny asked. Jason nodded again and went to his apartment. He laid on his couch, staring at the ceiling for about 20 minutes and then decided to go down to the pier. He walked down there, looking around tried to ignore Elizabeth watching him through the window at Kelly's until he reached his destination. He sat down, well practically collapsed, on the bench. He was still trying to avoid really thinking about her so he thought about how it was getting warmer and that spring was approaching. He breathed out heavily and noticed that he could no longer see his breath. Then he just closed his eyes and gave in. The memories came flooding back and as they played he thought of the song "With Or Without You" by U2. The tears stung his eye but he swallowed hard to keep them from escaping his eyes. He just hoped that someday things would look up. That something would happen to just make him feel good. Well, just feel better. He was just so sick of hurting. Maybe he would find his Courtney. Maybe someone else would take the pain away. He laughed in spite. There was no way that would happen. He would always wait for Courtney, his one true love. Even if he never found her, he couldn't make himself move on. He hoped that she had regained her memory and had found herself. "Jason?" he heard from behind him. He jumped and turned around quickly. It was Carly. "Oh, uh hi how are you?" he said. She looked at him with concern and sat next to him. Looking into his face she put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm just fine, but I'm worried about you. Babe, you've always tried to distance your self but you seem so much more depressed and distant lately. What's the matter?" she asked. He looked to the ground and fought the tears even harder than he had been. "I don't know if I can talk about it without crying." He said, voice cracking more than once. "Oh sweetie." She said pulling him into as hug. He wrapped his arms around her and seemed to be a vulnerable little kid. He laid his head on her shoulder and just let her hold him. He was so glad that she came to help him. She couldn't cure it obviously, but he just needed someone who cared about him. He barely remembered how he got home. He just kind of was there. He went to the refrigerator. He dug way into the back where he'd hidden a couple of beers. He knew that he had alcoholic tendencies but he needed it to sooth himself right then. He practically swallowed all the contents of the bottle in one gulp. Then he did it with another. And another. And another. He threw out the bottles and said that he was done. And he told himself that he was just going on a walk to the park but he knew where he was going. He entered Jake's bar. He sat on the barstool and while waiting ate a couple olives. The bartender asked him what he wanted. He asked for a shot of tequila. He slammed it and asked for more. He repeated this process for awhile then asked for some Vodka twisters. He drank two whole bottles. By this time he was so drunk he couldn't see straight. The guy asked him to pay the bill and he grabbed all the money he had and threw it at him. He stumbled out the door and looked around. The blinding light hurt his head. He couldn't quite remember where he was. He just started randomly walking, if you could call it that. He ended up somehow passed out next to a dumpster behind Kelly's. About three hours later he woke up. He was moving. He blinked hard and looked around. He went to rub his eyes but his hands were tied together. He blinked hard again and a face came into view. It was Faith Roscoe. "What the hell?" he said in a deeper than usual slurred way. "Good morning sunshine." She said sarcastically. His hand and legs were tied together and he was in the back of a limo. "Where are you taking me?" he asked drowsily. "Oh, you'll see." She said with that false cheer in her voice. He knew that it wasn't worth fighting, and even if he wanted to he couldn't right then. He shut his eyes, trying to make the pain in his head go away. He soon felt the limo jerk to a stop. Before he knew what was happening three big guys in suits were dragging him out of the vehicle and threw him in the cabin. A conversation ran through his head that kind of made him laugh. "I'll be gone for a day, can you handle things by yourself?" He landed on the ground with a thud that knocked the wind out of him and made him cough. Faith came over and sat him up against a table. "Okay Blue, here's the deal I saw Sonny getting on a plane to Brooklyn this morning. Mind telling me what he was doing?" she said. He hated it when she called him Blue. "You wanna give me a reason why I should tell you?" he asked. "Okay, I'll give you three!" she said mockingly. She pulled out a gun and counted out loud as she put three bullets into. She pressed it to his head. "Those reasons good enough for you?" she said sarcastically. "What's the big deal about him going to Brooklyn?" Jason asked, not even phased by the fact there was a gun pressed to his temple. "Oh, I think you know." She said. "Well why don't you tell me so I can make sure we're on the same page." He said with the same mockery and sarcasm that she always used on him. She giggled in her strange little way. "Oh yeah, I bet you wouldn't know a thing about a bomb or Sonny's little sister. Hell, you probably talked him into going and saving her, you always try to play the fucking hero don't ya?" she said. "You caught me." He said jokingly. It's amazing what you can find out with a little sarcasm. "Okay then, you are gonna get out your cell phone, then you are going to call Sonny and tell him that he needs to come back now and leave Courtney there. This will go as planned or it's your head!" she said with anger. Jason nodded and as she loosened his restraints a little bit he got out his cell phone and hit speed dial two. (Speed dial one was Courtney's no longer in service number) 

"Hello?" Sonny's voice came through the earpiece.

"Hey, it's Jason" he said. He decided to use their code so he would know what was wrong.

"What do you need?" Sonny asked.

"Well, I think you need to come home, Carly is in the hospital and she's been asking for you." He said

"Faith is standing right there isn't she" Sonny asked

"Yes. Don't bring Courtney either, Carly said that she wouldn't want to make her feel uncomfortable" he answered nonchalantly. 

"Okay, so faith has you calling me, me and Courtney are in danger so we need to leave right now?" Sonny asked for confirmation.

"Yeah that's right, I'll see ya later," he said as they hung up. 

Faith untied him He stood up, still a little woozy and shaky. He left and when he got home he took some Advil and Morning Relief Alka-Seltzer. He hoped that he wouldn't have a massive hangover. He went up to his room and collapsed on the bed. It had been one long day. He was hoping that Sonny and his sister would be okay. He closed his eyes, not to move for 6 more hours.


	14. Fields of Gold

Finding Courtney

Chapter 14: Fields of Gold

_Many years have passed since those summer days among the fields of barley see the children run as the sun goes down among the fields of gold you'll remember me when the west wind moves upon the fields of barley you can tell the sun in his jealous sky when we walked in fields of gold…_

He woke up and had to run to the bathroom. Everything that he had drank the day before came up. He took more medicine and felt much better. He had some orange juice and coffee and felt incredibly better. He knew that it would where off soon. He just took a shower and got dressed. He went to get some clothes to put on and as he was digging through the drawers and drying his hair with a towel, he saw Courtney's jacket and the sweatshirt of his that she'd worn that day… that glorious day. It brought tears to his eyes. But he grabbed his typical outfit of t-shirt and jeans and got dressed. He threw on his leather jacket and walked over to Sonny's house to wait for him. He sat there for quite awhile, figuring out how he could stay away from alcohol forever, and thought about Sonny's sister and what she maybe like. A little bit later Sonny came in, tossing a bag and his keys on the chair. 

"We're lucky you called, Courtney's apartment blew up five minutes after we got on the plane." Sonny said.

"Wow, I'm glad you're both okay. Where's Courtney?" he asked

"Oh she's coming." He said. Just then the door opened. Jason couldn't see her; she had her back to him.

"Oh Courtney, this is Jason, Jason Courtney." Sonny said. She glance up a little, gasped and ran out the door. Sonny tried to follow her but he didn't know where she went. He came back into the penthouse. 

"Hey, I'm sorry about that, I don't know what got into her, she's really sweet, I already love her to death. She really needs me." Sonny said.

"That was strange. I'm glad that you found each other." He said with a hint of a smile. He wished that he had gotten a glimpse of her face.

Courtney ran out of the building as fast as she could. She could not believe that it was Jason. Her one true love was her brother's accomplice. How was she supposed to react to this? She was out of breath and not from running. She had waited for the moment that they would be reunited for so long and now that it was here she was running away. She wasn't quite sure why. Maybe it was because she knew that what she felt was real. That terrified her, feeling something that was actually real. Tears stung her eyes, and she just continued to run. She didn't know where to go. She soon realized that Sonny and Jason were looking for her. Everywhere she went, they soon followed. Jason got so close to finding her so many times. 

Sonny and Jason looked all over for her. They checked at the police station, they looked at Kelly's and Jake's. They asked around and nobody had seen her. They used Jason's cell phone to try to call her, but she wouldn't pick up. She wouldn't answer the phone because she saw Jason's name on the caller ID. They took a break and had a cup of coffee at Kelly's. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot to show you her picture, here it is" Sonny said taking a portrait out of his wallet. Jason took it out of his hands. He saw it as he was taking a drink of coffee and he choked on it instantly. He couldn't believe his eyes Courtney was his Courtney. 

"What's wrong man?" Sonny asked

"Um, nothing, hey can I borrow your phone for a minute?" Jason said. 

Sonny nodded and handed him the phone, eyeing him suspiciously. Jason snatched the phone out of his hand and dialed the number that he had been trying all day. When Courtney saw Sonny's name flash up on the screen, she thought that she was safe. 

"Hello?" she said. Her voice made him weak in the knees, it was the same old Courtney, but with more pain in her voice. 

"Courtney?" Jason said weakly. 

"I can't see you Jason." Was all that she said. 

Jason ran back into Kelly's and gave Sonny his phone back. He told him that he'd go find her by himself. He went and got on his motorcycle and sped off. He just tried to think about where Courtney would go. He was driving down a back road when the song Fields of Gold by Sting started to play through his head. He looked around, seeing the wind blowing through the fields. He got some sort of vision. He could see the children that he and Courtney could have had running through the fields. He could almost feel how she always rise up when he'd kiss her mouth. He just let his mind absorb the song and all of the feelings that came with it. It felt to both Jason and Courtney that he'd been looking for her forever. It had just been so long. He stopped at another group of buildings and stores. He looked at two of them, and then at the third one, he saw blonde hair. He walked towards it, and She started walking quickly away from him. She reached the back door and as he quickened his pace to an almost run, he hit the door and looked around. She was no where in sight. He closed his eyes and thought of Courtney again. It started pouring down rain. It seemed to be coming down in buckets. He just let his heart take over He walked into a café through the back door and as he walked through the place and saw her sitting outside. That's when the song started on the indoor and outdoor speakers. And all he could see was one thing. His Courtney. 


	15. It's You

Finding Courtney

Chapter 15: It's You

__

If tomorrow never comes, I would want just one wish to kiss your quiet mouth and then trace the steps with my fingertip and it's you oh it's you the light changes when your in the room…

He slowly walked through the crowded café, spellbound by what he was seeing. She hadn't seen him yet. She stood up and walked out from under the canopy above the tables that she was at and straight into the rain, facing the opposite direction of Jason. The smooth acoustic guitar intro lulled Jason's pace and finally he reached the door. He opened it and stood not to far behind her for a moment, letting the rain pour on them. Finally he got up the courage to do what he had needed to for so long.

"Courtney." He said gently.

Her eyes opened wide and she spun around to look him in the face. Her surprise was written all over her face.

"If we ever meet again, we'll go dancing in the rain." He said, surprised not to be crying yet.

She took his hand, and chills surged through their bodies. She collapsed into his arms. Jason was terrified that it was all a dream, just a stupid dream like always and that he'd be waking up any second now. His hands fell comfortably low on her hips, and she wrapped her arms up around his, her hands on the back of his shoulders. She pressed the side of her face against his soaked t-shirt, feeling his warmth and listening to his heartbeat. The worlds started and he broke down, as though each one were pushing them closer and closer.

__

If tomorrow never comes  
I would want just one thing  
I would tell it to the stars and the sun  
I would write it for the world to see  
And it's you-ou-oooou  
The light changes when you're in the room  
Oh it's you-ou-oooou  
Oh it's you

She lifted her head up to look at his face, she too was crying by now. She never could have imagined Jason crying like this. He couldn't stop, he was hysterical. He held her there shamelessly; he didn't care who saw them anymore. He had waited for this moment for far to long and nothing was going to screw it up now. She stood slightly on her tiptoes, stopping their rhythmic swaying. Anticipation tingle in their chests, waiting, longing for it. He lowered his face more too her reach. They jerkily closed the gap between their mouth, sparking a passionate fire within them. They kissed so intensely that they thought they might fall over. They started to sway again, not breaking the kiss. Their eyes were closed so tightly, eyebrows furrowed with the intensity. She pulled away for a moment, barely moving her face away from his. She moved a hand to his lips, softly massaging them, it made him weak in the knees.

If tomorrow never comes  
I would want just one wish  
To kiss your quiet mouth  
And trace the steps with my finger tips  
And it's you-ou-ooou  
The light changes when you're in the room  
  
Oh it's you-ou-oooou  
Oh it's you  
Oh it's you-ou

The song was winding down, they didn't want it to end, what were they supposed to do after this? What did this all mean? Jason knew what it meant to him.

"I want _you_. Forever." He said in a whispered hush.

She couldn't speak. She didn't let the words touch her. She reached up and took his lips again, more aggressively and passionately this time.

__

Oh it's you-ou-oooou  
Oh it's you  
Oh oh it's you  
Oh it's you-ou


	16. For the Longest Time

Finding Courtney

Chapter 16: For the Longest Time

__

What else could I do I'm so inspired by you and that hasn't happened for the longest time once I thought my innocence was gone now I know that happiness goes on that's where you found me when you put your arms around me I haven't been there in the longest time and the greatest miracle of all is how I need you and how you needed me to…

The song was over and they stopped kissing. He stared down at her, not wanting the embrace to end. She didn't want it to end either, she felt safe there in his arms, as she hadn't since the last time that she'd been with him. They didn't know what to do, or what to say. She released him a little, and let her hand slide down to his. She grabbed it and they walked inside and sat down.

"Where've you been?" he asked. The question that had been on his mind for four years was finally out in the open.

"Well, I couldn't live with my dad left, and then my mom died and I didn't want to stick around, so I fled. I ran away to New York City. I've been writing under the penname Me2 cause…" she said

"Your favorite band is U2." He finished her sentence and paused "I remember. I remember everything. Why did you leave me like that? Why didn't you say goodbye?" he finished.

"I was going to say goodbye, I really was, but I just couldn't handle it. I thought that I could just get by with out you but I couldn't." she paused and put her hand over his "I missed you." She finished.

"I missed you more than you can imagine and while you were building a life for yourself, I was here destroying mine. I drank like you wouldn't believe. I tried to erase you. I ignored my feelings during the day but at night, every night, I had time where I'd think of you. I'd stare out…" he said

"Out on the icy black waters and longed for what you couldn't have, what was so far away. I know I did the same thing. You don't know this but what you just called a life was about the farthest thing from it. Yeah I have money and I love my job, but I had nothing else. I was so alone in every aspect of the word." She said.

"So where are we now? I mean, what does this mean for us _now_?" He said.

Lucky for her she didn't have time to answer. Sonny entered the Café, which made Jason immediately remove his hand from hers. He hadn't thought about this. What would Sonny think of him dating his little sister? He wouldn't like this. Of course, he didn't know if he was dating her, or if they were together or what. All that he knew is that he felt more alive at that moment than he ever had before. And he didn't want it to end. The rain slowed to a soft sprinkle, and they headed inside.

"Courtney, what happened back at the penthouse? You really had me worried." He said kindly.

"I uh had a situation. It's pretty much taken care of. " She said, avoiding eye contact with Jason.

"Do you wanna ride with me or do you wanna get better acquainted with Jason?" Sonny asked.

"I think I'll ride with Jason" she said. His heart skipped a beat.

Sonny got into his black car and Jason and Courtney went to his motorcycle. He tossed the helmet to her and she tossed it back.

"I love the danger." She said, which kinda got him hot.

"Well, I don't want you to die, put it on." He said tossing it back. She rolled her eyes and obeyed.

They got on the bike and Jason paused. He reached around her and slid her so that she was RIGHT up against him.

"Gotta get closer, don't want you to fall off." He said in his husky voice.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him, never wanting to let go. They started out on the highway, "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx still playing in Jason's head. He really wanted to know the answer to the question that he'd asked earlier. They weren't on the road long when She threw her helmet off. Jason was wondering what the heck was going on. She pressed herself against him, kissing the back of his neck. He almost swerved off the road.

"You trying to kill me?" he yelled, trying to focus.

She just laughed playfully in his ear, not wanting to think about the future, just wanting him now.


End file.
